Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Where's the Love!!!!!

Emotions run wild and food gets in the way. You know what I mean, It's called emotional eating. That is what happens to me. When I feel undermined or put down, all I want to do is eat comfort food. I give up on loosing the weight and feel like what difference does it make.

I just get that down feeling and every bit of reasoning leaves me. All my knowledge of what's right and not so right to eat goes by the wayside.

Lately I have really felt this way. At home and outside home. Feeling inadequate in my life. No decision I make or item I cook is good enough. My Daughter, who is overweight complains about the meal. Hubby sides with her. there I said it! I have two saboteurs in my house.

Support is so important, however trying to please the household and being a short order cook seems to be a must for us Mothers and Wives. I cook a roast, everyone else wants Chinese food. I cook Chinese food, everyone wants Roast. Whatever I cook they do not want it.

So, I want to run away to a spa resort and get the support I long for.

Of course this topic does run into other parts of my life, Health decision, Love Making, friendships, parenting and other areas. I think I get more upset when it comes to my weight issues. Due to my self esteem issue, I get emotional. That brings the hurt unloved feelings to the surface.
I really need to deal with the part of my life.

I love my family and know they love me. However Now I can not talk to them about matters of m heart, It just causes discernment and does no one any good. They do what it right in their own eyes. I have no say and weight in the household. So Why Bother!!!

So, this is my daily journal entry. I want to be taken away and find a better feeling. I tend to run away from the situation. Therefore I need to overcome this feeling of running away from things. For it does no good, I will only come back to the situation. This year I will have to remain silent on matters and go within myself, become a silent partner and make no decisions. Feed the family and so not eat with them. Let them do what ever, most of all I need to take care of me. I want to live a long time. Since they really do not care about themselves. I have stop and canceled all the doctors appointment for my daughter. I will not let her decisions, reflect on me. It is her life and she will at some point decided what direction she is headed. Same for my hubby, I will no longer insist on him loosing the weight and taking care of his health issues. His is old enough to make his own decisions.

I will not let them bully me or be forced from my home. It is my home and I will take care of it and myself. Some one cares for me I am sure, and that is me.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Message of Truth

I got the following message.
Are you really doing an intake of 12000 calories a day like it says in the upper left hand corner of your blog? I hope that is a typo.
I am in the same boat your in and following your journey. Good luck to you. Candy
Wow, No one else caught that in the year I had it up. Yes Candy it is a type O. It should read 1200-1500 calories. I fixed it today.

The truth is I really haven't been counting my calories. Mostly I have been just cutting back the amounts. Habits are so hard to break. At times I just throw in the towel. This year I really need to get a support group. One that will really support me. Some how the folks on line just fall through the cracks. They start out given good support then in a couple months, stop dropping by and no comments. Even a just checking in would be a great support. knowing that someone is watching and listen is the object here. Oh I know I do the same thing. I think it's because the process is so slow. And then finding things to write about is hard. Who wants to write " didn't loose this week" or "another month of ups and downs, Lost 2 pounds, gained two pounds." Oh yes this is so frustrating for everyone.

Well, I heard that there is a 17 day plan. I wonder how that will work? Guess it would help in breaking the habits. Eating certain things and exercising for the 17 days. Do you watch Dr Oz and The Doctors? They have some great ideas for loosing weight. I love the one on training for a run. Any run, it could be a cancer one or just a city marathon. One does not do it to win, just to complete it. I heard some folk lost 20 to 40 pounds just training. But must of all they did not have to change their eating.

You see I do eat healthy. No junk food and very little sweets. Still I fight the weight. My daughter is in the same boat. She is a teen and is trying to loose. Now that's just crazy, it is the hormones I am sure. How can one fight the hormones in your body. Well that a different topic for a another day.

Candy thanks for the heads ups on the numbers. Fixed them and now on the path to a thinner me. I can do it this year!

Now one more thing , for this year I would love to have a support group here on this blog. Below there is a link. Link up your blog and I promise to read and support you daily and week. When ever you write I will stop by and give support in your comments.