Oh where do I start......In the 1980's I started gaining weight. My heaviest was 185. Denial was a great part of my life. Loved Bread, sweets and anything Carb. It really wasn't bad until we moved to Europe, there I was in my Carb Heaven! Brochen in the morning, delivered right to my door. Oh and let me tell you the meat and potatoes.. out of this world. My taste buds exploded there, Europeans knew how the eat and cook.
One day sitting in a corner depressed, It came to mind all this weight and the feeling of being out of control was so great. I just could not continue on like this. Not too sure what to do, I ask my Lord God to help me. Now here comes the realization part.
One thing came to mind....What are you trying to fill? Was there a part of me empty and was I approving of the substitute( food)? All the answers where clear at that moment. I had been trying so hard to have a baby, thinking that would fill a void. Allowing myself to gain the weight each time the failure came, filling the void with food. How was I going to get back to the real me. I had lost that person along the seven year path to Obesity. The end of the road had come and now I needed to wake up. No more chances to have a baby, life will be childless for me. Was I going to let this be the end of me?
The decision was made I would call on the Lord to help me. Calorie counting, exercise and a daily reading of scripture, a different food source. Food for the Mind... when I was hungry, time to go to the Bible and read. There went my hunger, I was no longer in need of that Idol called food/Carbs to control me.
I did lose the weight, got down to 120 lbs. I was so grateful and pleased with myself. But, I will tell you another Idol crept in , it was called..Exercise. I could not stop and then I could not eat, because I would gain weight. Going to see a therapist and doctor to get help, after my hubby insisted on it, was my answer. Now 20 years later I'm here again. Allowing this Food Idol to fill a New void.
After hearing yesterdays Sermon a realization came to me... I'm going about this weight loss thing in a idolization way. Trying to do it on my own! yes I have all the knowledge and tools ones needs to achieve a goal. So, how come I can't get there and stay? It all has to do with My Walk with My Lord God. This will have to be the turning point for me. The time has come to give this back, over to the Lord. He will guide me and Remove the Weight Idol from me. Leading me to a Healthier being and training me to do the things that were planed for me by him. Bring me back to the Scriptures and learning about His goal for me. One thing about these Scriptures, they are Alive! Each time I read something new is revealed. That I will look forward to.
This has been an eye opening for me. Writing this has allowed me to see the path I'm on and desire a change. Not only for my eyes but for my life. I really do want to live longer to be of use for the Lord God Almighty, my Creator.
You too can listen to the Sermon.It might just chance the way you are thinking.
Now that the new year is here, think I will make a good change. I do like meat, however I will go more towards Vegetable and Less Meat. I have been feeling petty good lately. Having lost the 20+ weight and the inches falling off, my confidence is getting better.
